


Why Chanyeol is Still Single (according to the group chat)

by chennychenchinchen



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Humor, M/M, Memes, My bad attempt at humor, Oh Sehun is a Little Shit, Texting, bad graphic designs, group chat au, side xiuchen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9621578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chennychenchinchen/pseuds/chennychenchinchen
Summary: Chanyeol falls in love with and tries to ask out a cute guy in his graphic design class that he doesn't know the name of. Madness ensues in the group chat.The group chat AU in which Chanyeol is shook, Sehun is a living meme, Kyungsoo's eyebrows are probably broken from being raised too much, Jongin never says anything, Jongdae thinks he's cool, and Minseok is the only sane one.





	1. let's go get some coffee

**Author's Note:**

> pcwhy = Chanyeol  
> soup spoon = Sehun  
> kangaroo = Kyungsoo  
> the daemonster™= Jongdae  
> Minnie Mouse = Minseok  
> jongout = Jongin

**March 18, 8:46 pm**

 

**pcwhy:** guys, why am i still single?

 

**kangaroo:** Your eye twitches too much when you’re nervous

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Tall but no muscles 

 

**the daemonster** **™** **:** ur ass is flat

 

**soup spoon:** u only know the stale memes

 

**pcwhy:** thanks guys :(

 

**Minnie Mouse:** You’re young, you don’t need to be tied down! Don’t worry about dating.

 

**pcwhy:** ur literally dating jongdae wtf r u sayign

 

**the daemonster** **™** **:** leave me and my wife out of this

 

**soup spoon:** it’s “my wife and i”

 

**soup spoon:** use proper grammar, bitch

 

**the daemonster** **™** **:** fuk off grammar police

 

**kangaroo:** Why is sehun even here

 

**-**

 

**March 19, 4:04 am**

 

**soup spoon:** do turkeys lay eggs

 

**kangaroo:** What the fuck sehun

 

**soup spoon:** :/

 

**soup spoon:** so they don’t??

 

**kangaroo:** How did you graduate high school

 

**pcwhy:** dammit ksoo y do u always make the group chat passive aggressive 

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Why are you guys even awake?

 

**soup spoon:** fuk off 

 

**the daemonster** **™** **:** Don’t talk to my wife that way >:^(

 

_ the daemonster _ _ ™ _ _ removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ jongout added soup spoon to the chat _

 

**soup spoon:** ty jongin ily

 

**soup spoon:** ok but just to clarify tho turkeys don’t lay eggs??

 

_ jongout removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

-

 

**March 19, 12:06 pm**

 

**pcwhy:** EMERGENCY  

 

**pcwhy:**  how do you ask someone out

 

**the daemonster** **™:** why do you wanna know

 

**pcwhy:** so i can ask someone out 

 

**pcwhy:** this is an emergency i need all hands on deck 

 

_ pcwhy added soup spoon to the chat  _

 

**soup spoon:** i like to drink glue until i turn blue

 

_ kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ pcwhy added soup spoon to the chat _

 

**pcwhy:** guys i’m serious 

 

**pcwhy:** do i need to buy flowers i’ve never asked some1 out b4

 

**the daemonster** **™:** park chanyeol ur such a boy pussy

 

**the daemonster** **™:** you dont need to buy anything,  just ask for his #. that’s how i started going out with minseok

 

**Minnie Mouse:** <3

 

**the daemonster** **™:** <3

 

**soup spoon:** gr0ss

 

_ the daemonster _ _ ™ _ _ removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ pcwhy added soup spoon to the chat _

 

**the daemonster** **™:** >:(

 

**pcwhy:** we need all hands on deck

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Who are you even asking out?

 

**pcwhy:** this guy in my graphic design class

 

**pcwhy:** he’s rlly cute he has white hair

 

**soup spoon:** ???? is he 80???

 

**pcwhy:** it’s bleached u fuk

 

**kangaroo:** What’s his name

 

**pcwhy:** how am i supposed to know

 

**the daemonster** **™:**  you don’t even know his name?

 

**pcwhy:** all i kno is that he’s cute ok rlly cute so cute u'd piss urself

 

**the daemonster** **™:**  do u have a pic

 

**pcwhy:** as much as i'd like for you to piss urself im not a stalker

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Ok let’s take a step back

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Talk to him first, learn his name, and then get his #

 

**soup spoon:** impress him with ur graphic design skills

 

**soup spoon:** i beliv in u chanyru

 

**soup spoon:** beliv it

 

**soup spoon:** belivvvvvvvvvv it

 

**soup spoon:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8xoTBZrzko ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8xoTBZrzko)

 

_ kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ jongout added soup spoon to the chat  _

 

-

 

**March 20, 6:21 pm**

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Have you talked to him yet?

 

**pcwhy:** i’m working on it

 

**pcwhy:** sort of

 

**the daemonster** **™:** god dammit chanyeol

 

**the daemonster** **™:** you boy pussy

 

**the daemonster** **™:** B 

 

**the daemonster** **™:** O

 

**the daemonster** **™:** Y

 

**the daemonster** **™:** P

 

**the daemonster** **™:** U

 

**the daemonster** **™:** S

 

**the daemonster** **™:** Y

 

**kangaroo:** You forgot an s

 

**the daemonster** **™:** leave me alone

 

**the daemonster** **™:** this is harassment i’m gonna report you to the polic

 

**soup spoon:** polic

 

**kangaroo:** Go ahead and report me to the polic then, bitch

 

**pcwhy:** i’m gonna try to ask him out with graphic design bc we’re in a graphic design class and that way i can be subtle about it

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Have you made anything?

 

**pcwhy:** yea but i’m not sure about it

 

_ pcwhy has sent an image _

 

 

**soup spoon:** bahahahahhahha 

 

**soup spoon:** it’s perfect you have to use it

 

**kangaroo:** Looks good

 

**the daemonster** **™:** the comic sans is tasteful 

 

**Minnie Mouse:** He won’t be able to say no :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone is so ooc wheeze i'm sorry
> 
> I know it says there's gonna be 10 chapters but I have no idea how many there'll be. There might be less than 10 but I'll change it when I get it sorted out. Updates will be at least once a week!
> 
> Many thanks to my child Alisontheperson for being my beta! She also came up with the names 'soup spoon' and 'kangaroo' for Sehun and Kyungsoo. She doesn't remember it but I swear she did over a phone call when I was discussing a different fic idea haha.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are much appreciated!ヾ(´∀`* )
> 
> //
> 
> talk to me [here](https://curiouscat.me/chennychenchinchen)


	2. the subtly of park chanyeol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title may or may not be a reference to the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya

**March 21, 3:49 pm**

 

**soup spoon:** ksoo ur looking 4 background music for ur next shortfilm abt lynching rite?

 

**kangaroo:** Yes, did you find something?

 

**soup spoon:** yes its rlly fitting i think u’ll like it

 

**kangaroo:** Link please

 

**soup spoon:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

 

_ kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ jongout added soup spoon to the chat _

 

_ kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ jongout added soup spoon to the chat _

 

_ kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ jongout added soup spoon to the chat _

 

_ kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

_ jongout added soup spoon to the chat _

 

**kangaroo:** Jongin you never even say anything in this chat

 

**kangaroo:** All you do is add sehun back 

 

**jongout:** I observe the tea from a distance

 

**kangaroo:** I can never win

 

**soup spoon:** ;)

 

**pcwhy:** wtf and he said my memes are stale

 

-

 

**March 22, 2:09 pm**

 

**pcwhy:** so i showed him the image

 

**Minnie Mouse:** And? Did he say yes?

 

**pcwhy:** we didnt get coffee

 

**the daemonster** **™:** aw

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Sorry to hear that :(

 

**kangaroo:** Another failed romance

 

**soup spoon:** :)

 

**pcwhy:** But he did give me his number!!!!

 

**the daemonster** **™:** ayyyYYYYyyYy atta boi

 

**kangaroo:** Nice!

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Happy for you!

 

**soup spoon:** :(

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Have you texted him yet?

 

**pcwhy:** no but should it? what am i supposed to say?

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Just say hi and then ask if it’s him

 

**the daemonster** **™:** u  know his name now anyway lmao

 

**pcwhy:** ,,,

 

**the daemonster** **™:** right

 

**the daemonster** **™:** right???

 

**the daemonster** **™:** right??????????/

 

**pcwhy:** fuck

 

**soup spoon:** damit chanyeol i cant belive

 

**pcwhy:** well he didn’t tell me!!

 

**the daemonster** **™:** oh my godddddddddd

 

**soup spoon:** just add him so that you can see his id name

 

**kangaroo:** Not everyone’s id name is their actual name

 

**soup spoon:** yea but its always something at least similar

 

**kangaroo:** Ur id name is ‘soup spoon’ 

 

**kangaroo:** How is soup spoon similar to sehun

 

**soup spoon:** they sound alike

 

**kangaroo:** No they dont????????????

 

**soup spoon:** ur id is kangaroo leave me tf alone

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Have you found his id yet, Chanyeol?

 

**pcwhy:** yeah but it’s just “bbh” and then one of those japanese emoji things

 

**soup spoon** theyre called kaomojis u uncultured swine

 

**soup spoon:** but see now you know his initials 

 

**soup spoon:** all thanks to my expertise

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Text him and just imply that he has to give his name

 

**pcwhy:** wheeze okay i’ll try

 

-

 

**March 20, 2:17**

 

**pcwhy:** Hi, this is Park Chanyeol! Am I reaching the correct person or did said person perhaps give me someone else’s number? :O

 

 **bbh \\(★ω★)/** **:** Nope, this is said person! ヾ（＾ヮ＾)ﾉ

 

-

 

**March 20, 2:19 pm**

 

 **pcwhy:** he didn’t fall for it but he even uses the japanese emojis when he texts it’s so cute 

 

**soup spoon:** THE YRE CALLED KAOMOJIS CHANYWOL

 

**jongout:** Just try again

 

**the daemonster** **™:** omg

 

**the daemonster** **™:** a wild jongin has appeared

 

 **soup spoon:** my guardian angel

 

**jongout:** This tea is getting intense

 

**soup spoon:** ugh enough with the fuckin ‘tea’ im so sick of that word

 

**soup spoon:** stfu and go back to twitter with the rest of the tea whores

 

**jongout:** :-( 

 

**jongout:** and to think i’ve fought 4 you…….

 

-

 

**March 20, 2:21 pm**

 

**pcwhy:** Happy to hear that! ^^ Hey, strange question, but when you get coffee what name do you use? Like, a fake name, or…?

 

 **bbh \\(★ω★)/** **:** ….No? I just use my real name lol.（＾－＾✿）Why?

 

**pcwhy:** Just wondering, hehe :-)

 

-

 

**March 20, 2:22 pm**

 

**pcwhy:** he thinks i have fucking issues

 

**the daemonster** **™:** screenshot boi

 

_ pcwhy has sent an image _

 

**soup spoon:** wow way 2 be subtle m8

 

**pcwhy:** i didn’t know what else to say leave me alone

 

**Minnie Mouse:** Forget about learning his name for now and just have a normal conversation. You can find it out when you guys go out for coffee, he said he uses his real name after all.

 

**pcwhy:** shit that’s smart

 

**pcwhy:** once again minseok is the only useful one

 

**the daemonster** **™:** my wife is wonderful :^)

 

**the daemonster** **™:** take notes sehun

 

**soup spoon:** aids is one hell of a drug, i tell ya

 

_ kangaroo has left the chat _

 

**soup spoon:** well thats a new one lmao

 

_ soup spoon added kangaroo to the chat _

 

_ kangaroo has left the chat _

 

**soup spoon:** :(

 

**soup spoon:** he rejects my love

 

**soup spoon:** don’t let go ksoo

 

**soup spoon:** ily

 

**jongout:** I thought you loved me tho

 

**soup spoon:** naw i just use u 4 group chat access lmao

 

_ jongout removed soup spoon from the chat _

 

**jongout:** Use me now, bitch

 

**the daemonster** **™:** :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short! The next chapter is already in progress, I'm working on something special for it so please anticipate that! ;)
> 
> Thank you all for reading, especially to those who have commented! Your sweet comments have motivated me so much, I could not be more thankful! <3
> 
> edit: update coming this weekend :)
> 
> //
> 
> talk to me [here](https://curiouscat.me/chennychenchinchen)


	3. the yolo pays off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol stops being a boy pussy (kind of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How I write fics:  
> 1\. Write 2 lines  
> 2\. Re-read stuff i already wrote  
> 3\. Watch 10 mins of Missing 9 and/or EXO Showtime  
> 4\. Scroll through youtube subs  
> 5\. Watch 6 Infinite mr removed videos  
> 6\. Watch SHINee's Get The Treasure MV (and nut when Jonghyun says "cat's eye")  
> 7\. Read xiuchen fics and cry  
> 8\. Repeat 
> 
> as you can see i am very productive :^)

**March 20, 2:29**

**pcwhy:** you know what

 

 **jongout:** Omg what

 

 **pcwhy:** yolo, bitch

 

-

 

**March 20, 2:31**

**pcwhy:** Hey, are you busy after class tomorrow? Are you up for coffee then?

 

 **bbh \\(★ω★)/** **:** I have nothing going on so yes, I’d love to! Sorry i was busy today when you initially asked me ^^’

 

 **pcwhy:** Oh, no worries! :) I'll see you then!

 

-

 

**March 20, 2:32**

**pcwhy:** guys

 

 **pcwhy:** g uys

 

_pcwhy added kangaroo to the chat_

 

_pcwhy added soup spoon to the chat_

 

 **kangaroo:** For fucks sake

 

 **soup spoon:** peeling potatoes is my favorite past time

 

_kangaroo removed soup spoon from the chat_

 

_pcwhy added soup spoon to the chat_

 

 **pcwhy:** it’s impoRTANTT

 

 **kangaroo:** What is it

 

 **pcwhy:** I asked him out for coffee, we made plans for tomorrow :)

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** i knew u could do it

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** Good job :-)

 

 **soup spoon:** make sure 2 wear a condom

 

 **soup spoon:** safe sex is good sex

 

 **kangaroo:** What is wrong with you

 

 **soup spoon:** bitch What is wrong with YOU

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** :oooo

 

 **pcwhy:** what should i wear plz help

 

_soup spoon has sent an image_

 

 **kangaroo:** Sehun no

 

 **soup spoon:** kys

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** omg wait can i send u my polyvore account

 

 **pcwhy:** wtf is a polyvore it sounds like a disease

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** of course you guys wouldnt kno ur all fashion terrorists

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** it’s a fashion website where  ****you get to put together outfits

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** here’s the link to mine have a look at some of my sets theyre pretty fire

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** [ http://thedaemonster.polyvore.com/ ](http://thedaemonster.polyvore.com/)

 

 **pcwhy:** ok give me a sec

 

 **pcwhy:** um

 

 **kangaroo:** How unique

 

 **soup spoon:** tf is ur profile picture

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** Good job sweetie

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** <3

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** <3

 

 **soup spoon:** wtf minseok how can u support this

 

 **pcwhy:** you guys are all useless minseok help meeeEeeeEEe

  
**Minnie Mouse:** Why me

 

 **pcwhy:** because ur the only helpful one here

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** that’s my wife for ya :^)

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** I don’t know? Wear a sweater or something?

 

 **pcwhy:** i don’t own any sweaters :(

 

 **soup spoon:** you dont own any swetears??????//

 

 **soup spoon:** wtf whats wrong with you tall people are like the best people to wear sweaters

 

 **pcwhy:** lol no short people are

 

 **pcwhy:** the cute guy i asked out wears sweaters all the time and he’s really short and it’s fucking adorable

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** my wife looks so cute with sweaters on :^)

 

 **soup spoon:** stfu stop shoving your gross fake marriage shit down my throat

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** wdym "fake marriage" 

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** if anything here is fake it’s the 2 inch dildo that u superglued to ur crotch and are calling ur dick

 

 **soup spoon:** cyeol we’re going shopping i’ll be outside ur dorm in 2 mins

 

 **pcwhy:** what

 

 **pcwhy:** ok?????

 

 **kangaroo:** Have fun

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** how dare you fukcijgn ignore me seahoon

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** i know where you live i’m gonna stab you with a butter knife and rip the 2 inch dildo off ur crotch

 

 **soup spoon:** :)

 

-

 

Chanyeol anxiously tapped his foot as he stared at the clock, zoning out his professor’s monotonous lecture. There was only a few minutes until class let out, meaning only a few minutes until he was going out to coffee with the cute boy with bleached hair.

 

He had strategically chosen a seat a few rows back from Cute Boy and was already packed up so that by the time Cute Boy was standing up to leave, Chanyeol would magically appear in front of him like a knight in shining armor. Or like a nervous lanky college kid, whichever works better.

 

Though he should probably be paying attention to what his professor was saying, there were so many butterflies in his stomach that there was no use even trying. He pulled out his phone and opened the group chat that Sehun had cleverly titled “h2hoes”.

 

**March 21, 3:57**

**pcwhy:** guys im wheezing its almost time

 

 **kangaroo:** Dont fuck up

 

 **kangaroo:** Also make sure to find out his name

 

_pcwhy sent an image_

__

 

 **soup spoon:** stale meme

 

 **soup spoon:** the stalest meme

 

 **soup spoon:** also r u wearing the sweater we bought

 

 **pcwhy:** ye

 

 **pcwhy:** still think the color is ugly tho lol

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** if sehun picked it out then yes it is most likely ugly

 

 **soup spoon:** bitch i know fashion

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** where’s your polyvore account then bitch

 

 **soup spoon:** non existent just like the chance of someone wearing one of your sets bitch

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** bitch

 

 **soup spoon:** bitch

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** bitch

 

 **soup spoon:** bitch

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** bitch

 

 **soup spoon:** bitch

 

Chanyeol rolled his eyes before exiting the messaging app, stomach doing backflips as he continued anticipating his professor’s dismissal.

 

Finally it came, and he clumsily swung his backpack over his shoulder (only one shoulder, because two shoulder’s isn’t cool) and nearly twisted his ankle while attepting to go down the wideset stairs two at a time. Unfortunately his plan failed, as Cute Boy was already at the end of the row by the time Chanyeol got there.

 

“Hey,” Cute Boy flashed Chanyeol a blinding smile.

 

“H-Hey,” Chanyeol cursed himself for stuttering, but Cute Boy seemed to find it endearing judging by the small giggle that left his mouth as he turned began to move down the stairs. Chanyeol followed closely behind.

 

Cute Boy glanced back over his shoulder. “Let’s get there quickly, they might run out of cake pops!”

 

-

 

**March 21, 5:06**

**pcwhy:** it went really well omg

 

 **pcwhy:** he was really sweet and small and cute and funny he ordered a drink with whipped cream and he put some on my nose omg it was so cute

 

 **pcwhy:** he said he liked my sweater ty sehun

 

 **soup spoon:** suck it jongdae

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** i suddenly don’t like this guy

 

 **pcwhy:** we made plans to get coffee again after class on thursday im so excided ahhh

 

 **kangaroo:** Great

 

 **kangaroo:** Now what’s his name

 

**pcwhy:**

 

 **pcwhy:** fuck i forgot to find out

 

 **soup spoon:** god fuCKING DAMMIT CHANYEROGLL

 

 **kangaroo:** oh my god

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** Did you even try?

 

 **soup spoon:** FUCKING TYPICAL

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** DIDN TH THEY ASK FOR YOUR NAMES WHEN YOU ORDERED UR COFFEE?

 

 **pcwhy:** IT WAS ONE OF THOSE CAFÉS THAT DOESN”T ASK FOR NAMES

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** GO TO STARBUCKS NEXT ITME YoU FUCKGIN

 

 **pcwhy:**  NoT EVEN ALL STARBUCKS ASK FOR YOUR NAME

 

 **the daemonster** **™:** STOP MAKIGN EXCUSES

 

_jongout has sent a photo_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that this is important but the sweater Chanyeol is wearing is the one he wears in Missing 9. Here’s a pic if you haven’t seen it:  
>   
> Yes I am watching Missing 9 and yes I also want to throw Taeho into a fire.
> 
> I'm not proud of myself for creating a Polyvore account for this fic but what's done is done.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!! All forms of feedback are very greatly appreciated!
> 
> //
> 
> talk to me [here](https://curiouscat.me/chennychenchinchen)


	4. getcha head in the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chanyeol keeps calling the cute guy luhan and the cute guy doesn't find it funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for not updating last week! I don’t typically like making excuses, but it was finals week for me so the time that wasn’t spent studying was spent sleeping. Updates will now continue to be regular!
> 
> Also I stopped putting the date and time for each chat convo bc I just don't feel like it anymore and I don't think anyone cares about it anyway so ye

**soup spoon:** you know

 

 **soup spoon:** i still dont understand y jongdae always calls minseok his wife when jongdae’s the one that takes it up the ass

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** sEAHOON STOP IT

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** He’s not wrong tho ;)

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** minseOK I TRUESTED U

 

 **kangaroo:** I never wanted to think about this ever

 

 **Jongout:** Too late

 

 **pcwhy:** i feel contaminated

 

-

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** Hey, Chanyeol?

 

 **pcwhy:** yea?

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** You’ve been on how many dates with this guy?

 

 **pcwhy:** 8 but 9 after today’s date uwu

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** You know that the longer you wait to ask his name the more awkward it’s gonna be, right?

 

 **pcwhy:** ….i am aware

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** then fucking hop on it m8

 

 **pcwhy:** i cant, what if he stops going out with me?

 

 **kangaroo:** Why would that happen?

 

 **pcwhy:** because he’ll think i’m weird and dumb for not asking his name sooner and then stop going out with me and then ill never get to pat his sweet head ever again

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** you’re fucking hopeless, chanyeol

 

 **pcwhy:** no need to remind me :(

 

 **pcwhy:** now please excuse me, we’re meeting at the cafe soon

 

-

 

 **pcwhy:** guys

 

 **pcwhy:** i fucked up big time

 

 **pcwhy:** he’s never gonna be able to speak or even look at me ever again what do i do

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** oh shit boi what happened

 

 **pcwhy:** so we were getting coffee right because coffee dates are the best and we like to go to different cafes and judge their coffee and it’s fun and he’s so cute when he holds steaming cups of coffee

 

 **pcwhy:** this particular coffee place finally decided to ask our names when we ordered so he told the barista that his name was luhan so i was like FINALLY THE HEAVENS HAVE BLESSED ME WITH THIS ANGEL’S NAME

 

 **kangaroo:** Isn’t luhan a chinese name though? I thought this guy is Korean?

 

 **pcwhy:** he is

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** i cant see how ‘luhan’ chocolates with the screen name ‘bbh’

 

 **pcwhy:** that didn’t occur to me at that time

  
**the daemonster** **™** **:** i think i know where this is going

 

 **pcwhy:** shhhHHH LET ME FINISH MY STORY I”M KIND OF DYING OF EMBARRASSMENT HERE

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** JEEZ GO AHEAD

 

 **pcwhy:** at first when I refered to him as Luhan he just laughed and played it off as a joke. He stopped laughing at around the midway point of the date and then at the end when i said “ill see you later, luhan!” he said “haha it’s not funny anymore stop calling me that”

 

 **pcwhy:** so now i was panicking and i was like “stop calling you what? Luhan? But that’s your name, right?” and then he just sighed and said he would see me in class before walking away

 

 **soup spoon:** yea u dun fuked up lol

 

 **pcwhy:** i’m so embarrassed :(((((((

 

 **kangaroo:** Well, to be fair, he did tell you over text that he always uses his real name when ordering coffee.

 

 **pcwhy:** yes exactly!!!! I wish he would’ve told me he was using a fake name :(((((

 

 **soup spoon:** you pay attention to the smol details

 

 **soup spoon:** he dusnt deserv ur lov chanyer

 

 **pcwhy:** whatever you say ://////

 

_pcwhy has left the chat_

 

 **soup spoon:** omg no

 

 **soup spoon:** dad plz come back

 

 **kangaroo:** Dad?

 

 **soup spoon:** daddy ;)

 

_kangaroo has removed soup spoon from the chat_

 

_jongout has added pcwhy to the chat_

 

_jongout has added soup spoon to the chat_

 

 **Minnie Mouse:** Chanyeol, make you should text him and apologize?

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:** i second that

 

 **kangaroo:** I third that

 

 **pcwhy:** alright, then i will i guess

 

 **soup spoon:** this situation calls for some justin beiber

 

 **soup spoon:** is it too late now to say sorry

 

 **soup spoon:** cause im missing you and now im sorry

 

 **the daemonster** **™** **:**????? those aren’t the lyrics?????

 

 **soup spoon:** um excuse you, they’re the kidz bop lyrics

 

 **pcwhy:** don’t even bring kidz bop into this

 

 **soup spoon:** have you guys heard the kidz bop cover of thrift shop

 

 **kangaroo:** Do we want to?

 

 **soup spoon:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UxVGCBNKTg ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UxVGCBNKTg)

 

 **jongout:** M y  e a r s

 

-

 

 **pcwhy:** Hey, I’m really sorry about last time. I took the joke too far and it wasn’t funny.

 

 **bbh \\(★ω★)/:** Yeah, it really wasn’t. :/ For a second I really thought you had forgotten my name, haha. But I accept your apology. (＾³＾）～♪

 

 **pcwhy:** Wouldn’t that be ridiculous if I did? Haha, have more faith in me!

 

 **bbh \\(★ω★)/:** You’re right, I should’ve known you were just joking. :) Wanna grab coffee again after class next week? I found another cafe we should try our, I hear their scones are popular.

 

 **pcwhy:** Can’t wait!

 

-

 

 **pcwhy:** guys

 

 **pcwhy:** i’m back in the game

 

 **soup spoon:** u gotta get getcha head in the game

 

 **soup spoon:** u gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game

  
_jongout has removed soup spoon from the chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story: A few days ago this guy I went to middle school with slid into my DMs and asked for my number. Because of this fic, I gave it to him for research purposes. His texts are so fucking awkward it’s almost painful. If you’re secretly an EXO-L and reading this, I’m sorry Jon.
> 
> update 6/9/17: I cannot apologize more for the lack of updates. My school year only just finished and I play a spring sport for my school's varsity team so I was very occupied and did not have this fic on my mind. I'm very sorry for anybody I disappointed, as i know i hate waiting for updates as well, and i promise that this fic is not abandoned for good!!!

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me [here](https://curiouscat.me/chennychenchinchen)


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